Pastwatch

Annals of the Homestarmy

Tuesday, April 7. 2009

Posted by SWatson

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Written by Orson Scott Card, this book was recommended to me by a friend. The story discusses the future of Earth after cataclysmic event(s) initiated by human race that ends up wiping out 90% of the Earth's population. The survivors create a group called Pastwatch with sophisticated equipment that can "watch" the past. What happens though is that some of them realize they can alter the past...

A question that came to mind was, "Would I want to alter the past?" Part of me says yes I'd like to go back to 3rd grade and change this, I'd like to do this differently in high school, I wish I'd gone to this university, etc. Regarding a post by Johnny Elbows about events or interactions influencing decisions or who you are (remember originality discussion), I wondered how much I would change with those decisions I'd want to change, or because of who I am innately, would I still "steer" towards something similar to who I am today?

I watched an episode of Lost this week, and one of the characters seemed to be talking about previous events predicting future behavior or outcomes. I think when I was born, I was built with some characteristics or tendencies, and that my life has amplified, diminished, and maybe even developed some new parts of me. Yet, I think you can carve me up and see my base or original part of me that was on day 1. Anyways, this has fascinated me lately.

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Radar on :

Congratulations on your first post. I have been waiting for AoD to post an introduction for quite some time. Glad you just decided to write an article.

As I have mentioned in the podcast before, though there are things in my life I would like to change, the decisions I did make, have brought me to this place and made me who I am now. I kind of like who I am. And though I regret many decisions in my past, I can't just pull out the strings of my tapestry I don't like, because they all helped make me who I am.

Maybe that is short sited of me. Perhaps I could be a better person had it not been for my earlier stupidity.

Daboo on :

If you could go back in time and change one decision that you made or one event in your life, would you? What would you change?

Swatson on :

I guess I would get new parents. Ones that I felt were loving, affectionate, and supportive. Yet I wonder per Radar's comments how that would negatively affect who I am. Maybe there would be some effects that I like about me that were created or encouraged or something because of my experience.

What would you change if you could, if anything?

Ladybug on :

What an interesting question. I would buy the dresser to match the bedroom set I got in 1985. I know that sounds flippant - but the really big things I would want to change came with some really big bonuses, too, and I wouldn't want to do without them. Like I was, as the saying goes, "unhappy in my marriage", but without it I wouldn't have my kids and I wouldn't want to live this life without them. So I think the only thing safe to go back and change are the things that don't really matter to how my life turned out. Like paying the extra money and getting that dresser - I've always wished I had done that.

Swatson on :

You would change the things that don't really matter to how life turned out? I wasn't expecting that. I wonder if that's because you are content with your cirucmstances? At first look, I would assume someone would prefer to change something that affects his/her life in a big way, but you seem to be different.

I would think someone might look back at their education and wish they'd gone into another field? For example I hear people all the time who get a degree in something like Psychology and wish they'd gone into Computer Science.

I've heard people also say, "if I'd known what I know now, I wish I would have done....differently."

Ancient of Days on :

I have to agree with Ladybug here. I've seen the Law of Unintended Consequences in action FAR too often to trust changing anything significant. On the other hand, as Swatson asserts below, I *AM* (for the most part) happy with my life - it certainly did NOT turn out as I expected, but I think on the whole things have worked out pretty well for me.

As for anything specific I would change - there's one event from my childhood that still haunts me. When I was 7, and my older brother was 10, he became "sexually active", and wrote an incredibly dirty note to a girl across the street. When her parents found it, she and my brother both selected me as the scapegoat. To that moment in my life, I had *never* told a lie - however, after getting punished severely for something I didn't do, I made the conscious decision to begin lying to avoid discomfort. I wish I could take that decision back.

Daboo on :

Maybe I'm the freak here, but I would change a *LOT*. Not about my circumstances like my family, jerk of a father, etc., but about how *I* acted.

I wish I could go back and be nicer to that lady who returned her cat to the animal shelter that one day. I was really rude to her and I felt dirty for . . . years. Ever since, really.

And I would go back and make better friends with my first college roommate, Marie. She was such a sweetie and I didn't really talk to her because she wasn't Mormon. I wasn't mean, I was just kind of distant.

I would go back and talk to myself about my first boyfriend, Mike. I would give myself advice about relationships and how stupid it is to give your heart to someone who doesn't want it, and tell myself to lighten up.

I wish I could go back and be nicer to my little sister when we were younger. I had no reason to be mean and every reason to be nice, but I was lazy and it was easier to be rude to her.

Overall, I wish I could give my past self a good slap and a shake and say, "Be kinder. Take yourself less seriously. Value the people around you WAY more."

(Of course, I would also want to go back and kick the sh** out of my other college roommate, Rachael. She deserved it and she made my life a living hell, and I should have been stronger than I was and not put up with her crap. So I'm not a saint.)

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