Beard Activity

Office UT Hero Shows His Stuff on Counter-Strike

     Although it had been some time since his last-second heroics sparked a continuing controversy over Assault timers in the original Unreal Tournament, acclaimed Office UT Champ, Curtis Mortensen, wasn't afraid to display his skills in the more stealth-oriented Counter-Strike: Condition Zero.
     "Incredible. The action left me out of breath," gushed fellow worker Joseph Wecker. "With the bomb ticking and four terrorists surrounding it, I didn't think anyone would have a chance, even on the Normal difficulty level. I guess Curtis proved me wrong."
     The deeds in question occurred recently when Curtis introduced the office Unreal Tournament(UT) junkies to the Counter-Strike (CS) computer game series. While the UT series focuses more on over-the-top explosions with outlandish weapons like the Rocket Launcher and Lightning Gun, CS focuses more on tight, team-based tactical strategy using weapons with real-life counterparts, such as the AK-47 assault rifle.
     Paul Hewson, a newly minted CS convert, breathlessly describes the setup. "Curtis was playing on the Prodigy map, which can be very difficult. There's a long hallway for sniping incoming T[errorist]s, but if they go the back way, you can lose your whole team in under thirty seconds. Well, guess what happened. That's right, the Ts went the back way, while Curtis fruitlessly tracked them from behind."
     Brandon Woolsey, a former CS player who was drawn back into the action through Curtis' evangelical efforts, cuts in to say, "So then, we started hearing Curtis' teammates go down one by one over the radio. It was like that scene in Star Wars where the Rebels are sending those puny fighters against the Death Star and that one guy keeps saying, 'Stay on target. . .stay on target' and then gets blown up. We kept hearing the C[ounter-]T[errorist]s calling for help over the radio before suddenly being silenced."
     Paul resumes his excited retelling. "Right when the last CT besides Curtis goes down, the computer notifies him that the bomb has been planted. We thought we heard some muttered cursing before he pulled out his knife and started running at top speed toward the CT spawn point [where the CT players begin the match]. When he got close enough to hear the bomb timer beeping, he pulled out his sub-machine gun and rounded the last corner opening fire."
     "It was out of sight!" interrupts Joseph. "One T down, then the next, then the third. He didn't take time to reload before entering the small room where the last Terrorist and the bomb were waiting. He started firing at the T, when all of a sudden, we heard the click-clicking of an empty clip. Of course, the terrorist still had rounds to fire, so Curtis leaps out of the room while pulling out his pistol. Then he turned around for a schweet headshot. Man! that T went down! We didn't think Curtis had enough time to defuse the bomb, and the beeps starting coming closer and closer together."
     "Yeah, but Curtis had the foresight to buy a bomb-defusal kit at the beginning of the round, so he went for it anyway," relates Paul, picking the story back up. "He crouched down and started the defusal process. We could see the defusal progress meter moving quickly, but I still didn't think he'd get it with the bomb timer beeping so furiously fast. I don't know how he managed it, but the meter filled up just in time. Stunning."
     Curtis had little to say regarding the latest episode in his growing First Person Shooter legend. "I was just trying to spread the word about what a great game CS is. If I look good doing it, so much the better."

     For previous coverage of the Office UT Hero, see our article printed here.